{"product_id":"im-florally-challenged-and-other-mostly-humorous-tales-and-poems-paperback","title":"I'm Florally Challenged: And Other Mostly Humorous Tales and Poems - Paperback","description":"\u003cdiv\u003e\u003cp style=\"text-align: right;\"\u003e\u003ca href=\"https:\/\/reportcopyrightinfringement.com\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eReport copyright infringement\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/a\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e\u003cp\u003eby \u003cb\u003eDavid Colpitts\u003c\/b\u003e (Author)\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cem\u003eI'm Florally Challenged, \u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003ewhich is inspired by some real life events and occurrences in author David Colpitts' life, is a collection of 21 short stories and poems that will make you laugh and reflect on life.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eIn the author's own words, \u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003e\"This book will divert your thoughts with a mix of humor and irrelevant observations.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cem\u003eSome of the stories are true. Some are more true than I care to admit, since I can't recall the names of flowers (the title story), fit into a wet suit nor remember to floss.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cem\u003e \u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eSome are almost fabrications. Have you taken a young lady hiking or to soccer practice when she is more interested in young men? There can be consequences. You might get a kitten!..\"\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e Excerpt from \u003cstrong\u003e\u003cem\u003eI'm Florally Challenged \u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003eby David Colpitts: \u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003e\"My barrel chest and washboard stomach have switched places. That phenomenon has changed more than my mating habits. It has changed how wetsuits fit me. \u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eMy old suit was past its life expectancy. I needed a new one for white- water canoeing in rivers refrigerated by glacial water. \u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eHypothermia, I've heard, is one of the better ways to go, but could render the dearly departed unsuitable for an open casket and I wanted my mother-in-law to see that I had died with a smile on my face. Clearly, I had to get a new wetsuit. \u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eAn internet search showed they were readily available online. The sizing seemed straightforward enough: weight, 155 to 180 pounds, height between 5'9\" and 6'0\". Medium-large. That's me. \u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eThe online catalog showed models steely-of-eye and firm-of-chin looking movie star sleek, muscles distinct beneath the rubberized sheath. With a few clicks of the mouse, that could be me. \u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eWell, not quite me. I would have to practice the steely-eye gaze essential for seeking a route through tricky eddies and currents, just like those canoeists pictured in the wetsuits. \u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eThe ever-present chiseled chin might be a problem, too, but I did have a few days to bushy up some facial hair to hide my three unchiseled chins.\"\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n            \u003cdiv\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eNumber of Pages:\u003c\/strong\u003e 100\u003c\/div\u003e\n            \u003cdiv\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eDimensions:\u003c\/strong\u003e 0.21 x 8 x 5.25 IN\u003c\/div\u003e\n            \u003cdiv\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003ePublication Date:\u003c\/strong\u003e June 12, 2023\u003c\/div\u003e\n            ","brand":"BooksCloud","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":48265880436957,"sku":"9781773544793","price":13.13,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0811\/9867\/8237\/files\/wMZGfI-CgH9781773544793.webp?v=1785178131","url":"https:\/\/handfulofbooks.com\/products\/im-florally-challenged-and-other-mostly-humorous-tales-and-poems-paperback","provider":"Handful of Books","version":"1.0","type":"link"}